A Motherless Mother’s Day

I don’t know about you, but I have crazy mixed feelings today. My husband and I are blessed to have a 2 year old boy and a 6 month old baby girl, who I absolutely adore. So, I do enjoy Mother’s Day, a day when the often unrecognized job of a mother receives just a tiny bit of it’s due appreciation.

But Mother’s Day also carries the burden of loss for me and I’m sure many others can relate. My mother passed away suddenly last year. My husband also lost his mother about a decade ago. We are both motherless.

A few days ago, I went to the store to buy a Mother’s Day card for my aunt. She has been like a second mom to me at times, and her son (my cousin) passed away 6 months ago. Aren’t we a great pair? Me, losing my mom, and her, losing a child… But even though this small act of empathy felt good, bringing some acknowledgement to a bereaved mother, it was difficult looking at all of the Mother’s Day cards. I was naively not expecting the grief to pop up in that moment. So, choking back the tears, I quickly chose a card and then ran over to the chocolate section…

Grieving Occasions

Holidays can be so difficult for many. Especially ones like Mother’s Day that celebrate the image of a perfect mother. It can be a painful reminder of what we have lost or maybe never even had.

Maybe, like me, you’ve lost your mom, whether through death or even abandonment. Or maybe she’s around, but not really there because of mental health issues or addiction. Maybe you just don’t get along or you have a strained relationship with her. Whatever your situation is, so many emotions can come up on holiday’s like this one.

The Beauty of a Motherly God

We often hear of God as a Father… which may be helpful (or hurtful) to your view of God. Our image of God can be skewed by the weaknesses of our human fathers (or mothers or pastors or other leaders).

Jesus often spoke of God as a Father. The religious people at the time wouldn’t have thought of God as an intimate “daddy” but Jesus used this informal term for God. Even encouraging us to call Him Father when He taught us how to pray, “Our Father which art in heaven…” (Matthew 6:9) In Psalm 68 it says that God is “a father of the fatherless.” He cares for the orphans. For those who have been lost, abandoned and alone.

I want to propose that He could also be called a mother of the motherless. God has all the traits of the perfect Mother: the maternal comforting, the care and compassion, the unconditional love.

We see this in Scripture; “As a mother comforts her child, so I’ll comfort you.” (Isaiah 66:13) We can see it in the person of Jesus as well. Jesus said that He wanted to gather the children together, “the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings…” (Luke 13:34) When the disciples told people not to bother Jesus with praying over little children, He said, “Let the little children come to Me; do not get in their way.” (Matthew 19:14)

A Present God

We all have a natural and valid need for a mom. First of all, to be birthed! (You literally could not be here without her!) And secondly, to be cared for and loved unconditionally. We need that care, comfort and compassion that is supposed to come from a mother.

But since no one is perfect, our imperfect mothers may not have been able to care for us and love us the way we needed them to.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”

Isaiah 49:15

When you think of your mother (or lack thereof) you may not think of a comforting, compassionate person. But no matter what your relationship with her is like – close, distant, strained, non-existent… God wants to be like a mother to you.

He is comforting. He has compassion on us. He is present… for the hurting, the broken, the abandoned…

He is not distant and impersonal. He is warm and welcoming, just like a good mother or father should be.

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

Psalm 27:10

When we respond to God’s invitation of love, accepting and believing in His Son Jesus, the Bible says we are adopted as his very own children. (Galatians 4:5) We gain the love of a perfect parent. The nurturing comfort of a mother and the security and provision of a father.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

John 1:12

There is One who loves you unconditionally, and He can fully meet your need to be loved.

Will you let Him?

If you want to receive the love of a motherly God, I encourage you to just have an attitude of openness towards Him right now. You could close your eyes or put your hand on your heart. There’s nothing religious about this; it just helps us to focus and symbolizes that we’re receiving God’s love for us.

A Prayer of Blessing

God, we open our hearts to you today to love us in ways that our mothers couldn’t.

May the love of God fill in any cracks of neglect.
May the comfort of God soften the hearts that have been broken.
May the promises of God be healing to the wounds of abandonment.

We receive the unconditional love you have for us with gratefulness and joy.

Amen.