If you’re a mom, you know…
You know the exhaustion of littles… the middle of the night feedings, the tantrums of the terrible twos, the nap times that go by way too fast…
I’ve got a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. I’m right in the thick of it – the busy-ness of raising two little ones. I’m sure many of you can relate.
My toddler is a VERY active boy. Constantly on the go, he tires me out well before nap time. By bedtime, I’m more tired than he is and I just crash after he finally falls asleep.
Self-Care Vacation
With all the chaos lately, I decided to take a breather. I went out of town to visit a good friend, stay in a hotel, and relax for a few days. I left our toddler with my husband, but I took my 6 month old because she’s still nursing and, honestly, she’s an easy baby, so even though I brought her along, it was a pretty relaxing vacation.
I had a great time! It’s SO good to visit friends – catching up and reminiscing… we even did the girly touristy thing and went to a local tulip festival. #PhotoOp! I even upgraded my hotel room to a Jacuzzi suite. It was glorious.
But then, I came home…
Returning to the Chaos
I don’t know what I was expecting to return home to. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Things were similar to how I left them.
… Except that my to do list had piled up even more while I was gone.
All of the things I was escaping from were still there.
Not only still there, but seemingly worse, as a few days away had caused my to do list to expand and made me late for deadlines. It also seemed to affect my son’s behaviours because he missed me. He hadn’t seen me in 4 days. I’ve spent a couple days away from him once or twice, so it wasn’t a shock for him, but getting back into the swing of things takes time and I noticed his need for more attention than normal because of my absence.
Is an escape actually relaxing?
Frustrated, I felt like my vacation had only left me more stressed than before I left. I couldn’t find clean clothes because the laundry wasn’t done. I couldn’t cook a healthy meal because I hadn’t gone grocery shopping. And I couldn’t take the time to get things in order because my son needed my undivided attention.
After a few days of focused cleaning, organizing and spending quality time with my toddler, I finally felt like I had things under control again. In fact, I felt so much more relaxed after these few days, having a clean kitchen, folded clothes, and a happy kid, than I did from my “vacation.”
True Self-Care
When I feel things starting to pile up, and the exhaustion takes over, instead of running away and escaping from my problems, I want to face them head on. Take care of things around my house. Fix the problems. Run the errands. Cross things off my list.
I may be able to relax by ignoring my to do list, but getting my to do list done means that I can truly relax without the impending chaos of overdue tasks. Not that my to do list is ever fully done, of course… I am a mom, and our work is never done, #amiright?! … But I try to keep on top of it so it doesn’t become too overwhelming.
As my to do list grows, my mental space diminishes. I find it hard to enjoy a bubble bath or even a date night with my husband when I have overdue tasks looming over me.
On the other hand, nothing relaxes me more than having a clean house, a functional living space, and sitting down at the end of the day with nothing to do but relax. A productive day always makes me feel satisfied and allows me to go to bed with a sense of accomplishment.
So, for me, self-care is not so much about spa days and vacations, yoga and meditation… It’s more about taking care of the little things, making our lives organized and functional.
For me, self-care is…
- Self-care is organizing my day.
- Self-care is meal planning and grocery shopping.
- Self-care is scheduling my week ahead to fit in the tasks I need to do, but also the social events and rest time I need.
- Self-care is running errands.
- Self-care is budgeting my finances.
- Self-care is purging items in my house so I don’t get overrun by junk.
- And of course, self-care is pampering myself once in awhile with a bubble bath, a manicure or a mini vacay with the girlfriends.
What is self-care to you?