I haven’t felt like myself in a few months now. I feel like I got distracted and found myself on a path that wasn’t actually my destiny to walk on. It wasn’t a conscious choice, it was more of a slight step off the path until I looked back and realized how far I had wandered.
Isn’t it easy to stray so far and not even realize it until you’re completely lost and stuck in the mud?
I went after something shiny. I thought it would fulfill me. But in the end it just left me feeling more empty and unfulfilled.
About a month ago, I was praying and journalling and God showed me a picture of me as a toddler. We’re walking along and I’m holding onto His hand. As we walk along the path, I see pebbles on the road, potholes, a steep drop off edge along the cliffside and mud puddles littering the path before us. Just like curious toddlers do, I would kick the rocks, jump over the potholes, get as close to the edge as I can, and splash in the mud puddles. If there’s any kind of obstacle in the way, you know a toddler is going to purposely take the opportunity, the risk, to get messy, trip, fall, slip, etc.
I instantly related this to my life. Instead of avoiding tripping hazards and potential messes in my life, I’d aim straight for them!
Holding His Hand
I felt that God was saying that it was ok that I was stumbling, tripping, getting dirty as I walked alongside Him. As long as I held onto His hand, He would protect me from falling. Stumbling is ok when your parent is holding you up. You won’t fall down the cliff, even if the ground below you gives out, if your parent is holding your hand tightly.
The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.– Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)
It was a beautiful picture that encouraged me that, even when I knew I was making mistakes and not walking perfectly along the path He had for me, He would still carry me and bring me through these obstacles.
Over the next few weeks, God expanded this imagery. He used this picture to teach me so much about my life and the path before me. He showed me that it doesn’t matter where I’m walking, as long as I’m holding His hand. I might be in rainy seasons where there are more mud puddles than normal. I might be pretending that I’m more mature than I actually am, trying to walk in an adult’s high heel shoes, like toddlers do. Or I might be walking on solid ground, but still tripping over myself because I’m just clumsy. Though I stumble, I won’t fall as long as I’m holding His hand. Or rather, letting Him hold my hand.
God Speaks Through a Children’s Book
A few nights later I had my dad and step mom over as my kids were getting ready for bed. My son fell asleep and my daughter was choosing a book to read for bedtime. While I waited for her, we were sitting there chatting about life and I was telling them about this picture that I believed was from God for my life in this season. Just then, my 5 year old stated that she found the book she wanted and she insisted that Granny read it to her right then and there. It’s a little book called “Mud Puddles.” Coincidence? I think not.
I couldn’t help but break down in laughter as Granny read out loud the story by Robert Munsch. Isn’t it amazing how God speaks through our children and through the everyday routine of a simple bedtime story?
In the book, a little girl puts on some clean clothes and goes outside to play. All of a sudden, a mud puddle jumps on her! She goes inside and her mom throws her in the tub and washes her clean. She goes out again, and a mud puddle jumps on her again. This happens again and again, even when the girl tries her hardest to keep her new clothes clean.
I’m just like this little girl, getting completely all over muddy from the messes in my life. Some of them might have felt like they “jumped on me.” Although, I’m sure many of my messes have been of my own doing. But God is my faithful Father who continually washes me clean whenever I come to Him.
How Did I Get Here?
A few weeks later, God reminded me of the same picture, although this time, I felt like I had gone off of the path and discovered a deep swamp. I metaphorically found myself in a “mud puddle” that was up to my neck and I couldn’t find my way out anymore. I looked at my hands and I realized that I must have let go of His somewhere along the decline into the mud.
Taking a look at my personal life revealed this metaphor in ways that I can only describe as brokenness.
Perhaps if I didn’t jump in the mud puddles, I wouldn’t have ended up in the swamp. But, the picture to me means that I need to hold onto God’s hand. It’s not about avoiding every speck of dirt or trying to keep myself clean. God might allow me or even purposely bring me through seasons of rain, through the valley, or through a swamp. My goal is to simply keep holding onto His hand. It’s in these times where I grow in my character and I learn to stay close to Him. I would rather be holding His hand through a flood or a hailstorm than to walk on the flat ground without Him. Have you ever seen a toddler walk? Even on flat and solid ground, they might trip over their own feet!
Grace and Mercy
In the parable of the Prodigal Son, Jesus tells the story of a man who asked for his father’s inheritance and left the family, going out and seeking his own happiness through spending all of his money on wild living. Once he became broke and starving, he finally came to his senses and planned out his apology to his father. He returned home, but before he even got there, his father ran out to him and lavished him with love. Read the full story here.
This is a picture of how God the Father loves us and accepts us back, no matter how far we’ve strayed. The son didn’t even get home, he didn’t have to knock on the door, or give his apology, or clean himself up before he could come back home. The father was waiting and watching for him.
Cleaning Up
When my kiddos were toddlers, if they got themselves into a mess, I would pick them up and carry them home. I’m reminded of a time when my kids got in their bathing suits and found a hole full of dirt in the backyard. They had so much fun playing in it, rubbing it all over themselves. I’m sure they enjoyed it, but it was a big mess to clean up. Just like the mom in the Robert Munsch story, I put them in the tub and scrubbed them clean. I didn’t make them clean themselves up to teach them a lesson to never do that again.
When I wandered off of the path, God was watching and waiting for me to reach out to Him. I didn’t have to pull myself out of the swamp I found myself in. I didn’t have to navigate the way back to where I let go of His hand. I’m not sure if I even could. All I need to do was look to Him, call out to Him, and He was right there with me, holding my hand again. He’s so faithful and so good, even when I’m not.
My Prayer for Today
Thank You, Lord, that You hold my hand. You lift me out of the miry clay. Set my feet upon a rock and help me to never let go of Your hand. Lift me and swing me over the obstacles and guide me along the path that You have for me. Correct my path when I wander off. Call my name before I stray too far.
I’m coming back to Your hand, Lord. Thank You for Your grace and mercy that takes me back, cleans me up, and continues to walk with me even when I don’t deserve it. <3